Weak.

Somehow it has escaped my attention until now that anime conventions--not many famous ones, but anime conventions nonetheless--are commissioning commemorative hand-forged katanas from BowenDragon1. Because nothing says "trust me with your money" like cheesy animated GIFs. Admittedly, katanas aren't nearly as cool as the Flashing Hair Blade, which totally sounds like an exotic concealed weapon for deadly lady assassins everywh--oh. Oh. It's not.

Moving on, as an extra bonus, a blindfolded e.e. cummings writes website copy for the Kumoricon Katana:

pick up will be at BowenDragon1 booth when dealers room is open ID is required. .Swords ordered before August 18, 2007 will be delieverd at show.. after cut off date swords will have to be shipped.. check walk in for delieverly at show.

In any case, should you find yourself paying for one of these things, you'll want to take proper care of it as soon as you get it home. This is best accomplished by quickly and forcefully impaling yourself upon its naked blade--thereby mitigating some, if not all, of the shame of being so pitiable as to have purchased a commemorative anime convention katana. Enjoy!

Dear X-Factor (or next of kin):

Please to be explaining what you are doing in World War Hulk/X-Men #3. You're not exactly the X-Men A-list. Or B-list. You are, with all due respect and affection, the Kathy Griffiths of the Marvel superhero world. Jamie wasn't even up to lifting a finger against Black Bolt in Silent War, and now you want to go a round against the guy that kicked Black Bolt's ass?

I've heard Monet has an IQ in the double, nay, triple digits. Could she not be bothered to explain in painstaking detail that you cannot stop the Hulk with witty banter and pop-culture references? No? OK, fine, whatever. I will merely submit for your consideration the Events So Far:

Beast: Oh my God, our species is nearly extinct! Even the death of a single mutant is a solemn event! ...so anyway, kids, let's all try and gangbang the biggest, baddest Hulk ever and see what happens.
New X-Men: [fighting Hulk] Yay! Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Pain. Ow.
Cyclops: OK, now the grown-ups try!
Xavier: Scott, even I think that's a dick move. Everyone, it's far too dangerous to fight the Hulk--
Cyclops: Shut up! I said, everybody fight the goddamn Hulk! Emma, help me make sure everybody fights the Hulk.
X-Men: [fighting Hulk] Ow. Ow. Ow. Ohdeargodjesusmyarms. Ow.
Kitty: This is so lame.

Think about it.

Yours sincerely, etc.