As if a warhead of happiness spread its joyful shrapnel though my heart!!

Avril Lavigne: The Manga. That is, Del Rey's bringing you Avril Lavigne's Make 5 Wishes. No word on a tie-in single yet; we can only pray that Eragon didn't overly tax her artistic wellspring.

Illustrator Camilla d'Errico does a fitting Range Murata-esque sideline in hapless young girls and technology, although Del Rey's sample spread looks more webcomic than professional. On her website, D'Errico begins her artist statement like so:

The artist in me finds joy in angst.

Truer words were ne'er spoken, which brings us to author Joshua Dysart's online journal and the following description of the 2-volume attempt to cash in on Avril's Japanese and Korean fans:

All my standard themes are in place. All the humanist based horror, all the loneliness and, yes, all the tragedy found in any of my work can also be found here.

So it's a tragic, young adult horror story. But, strangely, one about Avril and not Britney, Lindsey, Paris, or some drunken, cooch-flashing, shiny-car-no-know-how-to-driving, career-diving chimera of all three. Okay, you could argue that rhyming "boi" with "boi" is somewhat horrific, may even count as genuine artistic tragedy... but we'll pass on that for now.

And by humanist based horror, loneliness, and tragedy, Dysart means profound lines like "[Her music] was in every part of my life, and even though it seemed to come from so far away... it still felt like it was aimed right at me... like a missile!! Her music took away the numbness." Sonic ICBM healing, Make 5 Wishes's readers will soon need your help as well. Please.

There's no actual plot reason to brand the story with Avril Lavigne's name; Generic Pop Music Vehicle for Superficial Girl Empowerment's 5 Wishes would work just as well. Alas, no mention of the manga has made it onto the real Avril's official website. On the other hand, neither have the past two months.