The Dead or Alive franchise celebrated its 10th Anniversary last year. No problems there, though I've never imagined that a life of rigorous martial arts training uniformly results in a figure buxom enough that the passenger in front of you should please keep an upright seat back at all times. But I could be wrong.
Besides, they could be cunningly disguised armor implants. Silicone might have excellent impact-absorption properties. Jiggly Kevlar; it could happen.
Sadly, for all the 10th Anniversary pimpage, the girls don't actually look that appealing. It's like Lara Croft in early Tomb Raider; there'd clearly been effort spent on smoothing the taut stretch of fabric between Lefty and Righty, the pert gravity-defying curves... but if her face looked like a Cro-Magnon, then so be it. Even the new Lara Croft is rocking the one-plastic-surgery-too-many pornstar look.
Which brings us back to Tecmo and the Dead or Alive 10th (Credit) Card, featuring mildly cross-eyed versions of either Kasumi, Hitomi, or Ayame. The overall effect is less sexy fighter, more pneumatic lobotomy. And chicks with all the intelligent expression of a landed fish just aren't my thing. Oh, game developers. There's more to being attractive than a lovingly modeled chest. Millions would disagree, but hey.
Even though you still won't be convinced that Ayame could give you change for a dollar if she had four quarters, DOA 4's character designs are a slight improvement. Even if Bass is totally copping a feel on Tina on his way down.
Monday, February 5, 2007
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