White Town

Looky look, it's the 10 finalists for the New York Anime Festival Mascot Contest! What best captures the spirit of anime in New York City, that melting pot of all conceivable nations and cultures?



White people. How white? Bavarian-Holly-Hobbie-goes-street-urchin white.

Okay, to be fair, the Ringo Broadway girl is kinda taupe. But you'll probably sooner see an inhuman mascot like a fucking apple robot or a catgirl or a flaming dog-lizard in a military jacket before you ever see a anime event mascot who looks, for example, African-American. Or even Cablinasian. Cablinasian would at least be a start. Caucasian, East Asian, gay, straight, possible were-lepus transvestite, human-animal hybrid, robot, whatever--all of these are perfectly acceptable features in anime convention mascots, just as long as they're not brown.

Anyway, feel free to continue blithely endorsing them dominant racial norms here until the poll closes on June 29th!

Your improbable girlfriend is blocking my view of the exploding robots, please move

The New York Times has an article on Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci, screenwriters for the upcoming Transformers movie. Alex, I'll take "Crapping on a Perfectly Good Franchise" for $100:

What ultimately sold Mr. Kurtzman and Mr. Orci (who share a story credit on the film with John Rogers) on “Transformers,” and Mr. Bay as well, was the opportunity to tell a story about a boy and his car — a car that just happens to be a robot in disguise.

“It’s all the things that a car represents in this country,” Mr. Orci said. “That’s a story of stepping into adulthood, stepping into responsibility, possibly a gateway to sex. That is a story — with or without a giant robot.”

Sorry, but what you've actually described are all the things that Kiss Play represents. Next time, you might want to try describing a story about things that are actually awesome.

Am I completely out there? You can tell me if I'm totally out there. Was I the only one that loved Transformers for the robot dinosaurs and Sharkticon pits and shit? Or was I actually supposed to be immersed in Spike and Daniel's Decepticon-plagued passage to manhood? 'Cause I'd rather have robot dinosaurs.

Licensing show news you'd rather not use

Hot on the trail of other Transformers animated series we didn't really need, it's Transformers Animated! Offering a "new twist on the original series", each episode is "a standalone storyline featuring everyday heroes who do good deeds that triumph over evil."

Alas, "everyday heroes" suggests less robots with laser guns, more fleshbags like little girls named Sari who are voiced by Tara Strong. But that's the core appeal of the Transformers brand: stirring tales of plucky humans who do the right thing and wear The Strokes T-shirts. Not, as is commonly believed, talking robots who transform into jets and eat planets. Not at all.

Maybe he can date Marissa in issue #4

Dear Greg Pak:

Thanks for adding more Asian-American characters to the Marvel Comics stable. But seriously, guy, you can take Amadeus Cho back now. The comics world--okay, let's face it, the world--needs more Sooper Brilliant Teenagers Who Outwit Grownups and Stuffs... in Your Face! about as much as it needs more Random Asian Ninja Cheesecake. ("No, seriously, I'm British!") Tacking the word "ASIAN!" between "Sooper" and "Brilliant"? Does not automatically redeem this or any idea.

As you said last year: "I had this idea of doing a story about an insanely smart kid, but one who wasn't a reject or dork or geek."

You and every other fanfic writer on the intarweb. But hey, you know, the ranks of Marvel Universe superbrains/futurists/crazed geniuses/etc. are so devoid of male characters, at least you're breaking utterly new ground on that angle.

...nah.

Next!

Yours with the deepest sincerity, etc.

Also try Jerich Olives.com for all your catering needs

Huzzay! CBS has decided to give Jericho seven more episodes. Which means the rest of you potential fan agitators should already be selecting delicious, delicious treats to best suit your message. In fact, it's best not to wait for a reason to protest; pre-emptive action is the key. Example: want to ensure Viz continues releasing Yakitate!! Japan? What better encouragement than boxes upon boxes of scrumptious confections and baked goods, right now?

Fauchon and Payard both ship. Not a request, merely a suggestion.

Meanwhile, a Television Without Pity poster asks:

Just what is the responsibility of TWoP with regard to throwing its ever-expanding influence solidly behind this effort?

To which the obvious answer is the sound of hysterical, soul-dead laughter.

Don't ask, don't tell

INSTRUCTIONS: Select two out of the following three questions, or invent your own. (90 minutes, 50%)

Question 1. I chair an anime convention whose mission statement, like many other conventions, includes the promotion of Japanese culture. This is accomplished both by the convention and volunteer panelists through events such as matsuri themes, tea ceremonies, and the Let's Talk Shinsengumi Hour. Please explain in 500 words or less whether this may risk reinforcing a fetishistic approach towards "understanding" the culture of Japan, and whether this is in fact inferior to any other approach that could be undertaken in this format.

Question 2: Anime is cool. Manga is cool. Japan is cool. Japanese characters are cool. Especially if they are babes. I am a white college student in New Hampshire who has created a webcomic based on precisely this philosophy, and I am not alone. Please explain in 500 words or less what this could or should mean, if anything, for Japanese Asian-Americans; for non-Japanese Asian-Americans; and whether Asian-Americans in general should consider the fad for things Japanese to be a positive sign, another wave of Oriental exoticism, a combination of the above, or none of the above.

Question 3: I am a teenager in Kenya who does not speak fluent English, but I am obsessed with American network TV. It is far superior to anything on Kenyan TV. Please explain in 500 words or less how my love of American network TV will grant me a deeper understanding of what it means to be American, thus fostering my cross-cultural competence, and how American network TV carries a unique message of female empowerment that I find refreshing.

Extra Credit, Option A: If you selected Question 1, please explain in 250 words or less why I, as convention chairman, should be free to exclude the consideration of any or all Asian/Asian-American issues and concerns from the planning, staffing, content, and execution of my Japanese culture event.

Japanese for everyone

The absolute best example ever of how to use the phrase 汝の敵を愛せよ ("Love thine enemy") in context, from Love, Hate, and Everything in Between: Expressing Emotions in Japanese (Mamiko Murakami, Kodansha 1997):

A: 「もういいかげんに許してやれよ、聖書にも 『汝の敵を愛せよ』ってあるじゃないか」
B: 「冗談じゃないよ、敵は憎らしいもんよ」

A: You've been holding this grudge long enough. Why don't you forgive the guy? You know, like it says in the Bible and all, "Love thine enemy."
B: Don't be ridiculous. I hate my enemies.

Better yet, you can turn to page 154 for the following chapter: "We've been through a lot together! Now let's break up!"

Boy, 11, kills traumatized forest god

Inoshishi-gama, no-o-o!

This shit is bananas ($2.50 / lb, UPS Ground and sales tax extra)

By way of Defamer comes word that fans are sending CBS boxes upon boxes of delicious, delicious roasted peanuts to protest the cancellation of Jericho.

No idea what that show is? You're not alone. Still, according for the NUTS for Jericho page at NutsOnline.com, thousands of pounds of delicious, delicious peanuts have already been shipped to CBS. Technically the nuts will be sent on to City Harvest (in America, feeding the underprivileged is a task left to upfronts and inmate executions) but nobody will notice a missing pound, or fifty, stashed in the employee break room, perhaps the trunk of a intern's car.

Obviously, this "Pay Company A to send Company B a Shitload of Tasty Treats" strategy is a superlative one that anime fans should immediately adopt as well. Sure, you probably still won't get your show or your Sonic the Hedgehog voice actor or whatever, but Company A gets money and Company B gets Omaha Steaks for everyone, even Carol in reception. Did you know that licensing companies respond very favorably to Omaha Steaks? Because they do. (Better than they do to the fifty identical voice messages you left on the feedback line, anyway.) Also, Harry & David gift towers go over particularly well. Or so I'm told.

For more information or to better coordinate your protest needs, please visit our newly established sister site, PowerLevelOneMillionGiftBoxesOnline.com!

Some men are simply born to greatness

A: I appreciate a hemorrhoids-based webcomic that never updated as much as the next person, but--who's this Robert DeJesus guy who's always invited to conventions? I tried his website but it's not that helpful.

B: Look, you can't expect him to update his website. Just because his Studio Capsule website link is printed in a convention program guide doesn't mean there needs to be anything recent there for people to look at. Besides, the sage himself has an explanation:

This may come as a surprise to some, artists do have bills and need to eat too. Since I don't make a single dime off of this website there's no fiery desire to crank out work for this site.

"Well, why can other artists get a lot of work up on their site?"

Maybe their art is not in huge demand and they have more time to update, and/or they refuse to work for 'the man'. That's all fine and dandy but in the real world, once you stop living with your parents, one needs currency to keep themselves from living out of a cardboard box.

B: See? He doesn't have to care about presentation because he is a real, working artist. As opposed to artists who regularly update their sites, because those people are probably unpopular and/or deluded.

A: Wow! That makes perfect sense! Thanks for clearing that up. He must really be amazing--I wish I could advertise on his site.

B: Can't. The link to do that is there, but it's broken.

A: He's so good he doesn't care about bennies from web advertising banners either?

B: Even to this day, there are tribes in the Polynesias that still worship him as a god.

A: Wow. That is good!