WTF = Why, Transformers?

Okay, so I'm far from being an expert on anime, manga, etc., but hey, that's why I merely contribute when I can, as opposed to running these blog-like thingies on the Intertron. I, do, however, have a passion for Transformers that exists somewhere deep in the realm of obsession.

So, for a brief rundown, America stopped giving a crap about TF in roughly 1987. The cartoon went away, toys kept on coming out, but for the most part, once the animated fix was gone, the property started to fizzle. Japan, on the other hand, ran with it, taking TF in a subtly different direction, through three TV shows (Headmasters, Masterforce, and Victory, for those playing the home game,) some TV Magazine comics, and an OAV. Toys kept on coming out, and as a whole, TF was a consistent, if ailing, property.

Of course, if there's one thing that Takara can't sell, it's sentient robots. We get Beast Wars, they get... well, I won't get into the Japanese version, which was pretty much One Piece in reverse, to put it politely. When adapting the show to "better fit" Japanese culture, they turned it into the most childish crap imaginable, and this is coming from someone who plays with toy robots.

So, as many people who keep up on these sorts of things might know, Takara began to have money problems. See, they weren't making any. Tomy has since bought them out, but they've got to deal with Takara's remnants of their tail-end of TF product. Since they couldn't sell children's toys, they figured that it was time to move back to milking the adult collectors. Using existing molds from the TF: Alternators line (Binaltech in Japan,) an already tween-to-adult aimed line of 1:24 scale cars that turned into beloved characters, they came up with Binaltech Asterisk. Take a $40-$50 toy, and include a figurine of some obscure female character, possibly dressed for the part, possibly not. We're not picky, since collectors will buy any plastic girl, right?

Well, no. Sales weren't stellar, but again, it's a $50 toy. This stuff doesn't come cheap, kids. I could start snorting lines of coke off of a golden hooker's ass while smoking Cuban cigars lit with $100 bills, and I'd wager that it would cost less than keeping up on all of this goddamned merchandise. Bring out 3 of these guys, and I'm pretty deep in the hole just over nostalgia. (Counting the pre-Asterisk releases, there's 31 of these freaking toys. And people wonder why I went with the much-cheaper US versions.) Of course, Takara doesn't figure that it's a question of pricing. It's clearly that they haven't gone far enough!

I give you... Kiss Players.

There's a story behind it, a radio play, etc., and I'm sure that someone in Japan finds it not creepy at all. That is, after all, the defense used by any of its American fans. We're just too puritanical to get it! What do you mean, loli? They're all of legal age, they just LOOK twelve!

It does not end there, folks. See, there's a manga. It makes the whole thing limited to ages 15 and up, and this is the NSFW reason why.

I don't know about you people, but I sure as hell didn't order any hentacle with my TFs. Thank God that this one's over.

Secret and Not So Secret Files of Foreigner's Crimes

Via Gawker comes a Guardian article: A magazine plays to Japanese xenophobia.

Interestingly, the article gives some line time to Debito Arudou (nee David Aldwinckle), mildly controversial naturalized Japanese citizen and civil rights gadfly.

But is it really xenophobia at work here? Secret Files of Foreigner's Crimes is the name (in translation) and from the description given, the point of the mag seems pretty much what the title implies: foreigners are dangerous, and also, they will totally bogart Japanese chicks. At a glance, the cropped cover shot does say things like "protect yourself from foreign crimes", but it also depicts in no uncertain terms the true danger to Japan: zombies.

"Gaijin" is used here as a code name for zombies. Secret Files of Foreigner's Crimes is an encrypted publication used to disseminate vital information throughout Japan without alerting Umbrella Corporation's Tokyo office that confidential info on the true extent of the T-Virus menace has now fallen into resistance hands. Citizens of Japan, be alert, be informed!

And invest in a 2x4 with a nails in the end. Just in case.

As for what coded meaning the word "Borat" holds for UN High Commissioner Howie Carr, though, I think it just stands for "man or fabricated media persona originating from interchangeable Third World hellhole located somewhere vaguely east of Europe."