You're not supposed to take that "America's Finest News Source" thing seriously, you know

The Onion recently did a story called Area Man Needs Two More Trips To Best Buy To Beat Xbox 360 Game. Should I put "story" in quotes? Do I need to make it any more obvious?

Apparently yes.

Blogger Blake Snow (who wrote the Joystiq post) wants to make it clear that he knows The Onion is parody. Or does he? The "yes, the parody newswire" part feels rather tacked on. And who the hell calls the Onion a newswire? Newspaper, yes. Website, yes. But newswire? That's like, AP and Reuters, which are newswires that have their articles reposted verbatim on other news sites (which is what's supposed to happen, that's what a newswire does).

But wait, it all makes sense, because you see, Snow doesn't even bother writing an article for this one, he just paraphrases the article and puts in a large block quote in the middle. It wouldn't be so bad, except that well, the block quote is over half the article, and the paraphrasing is like a half-hearted re-write of the rest. You know, like those reports you had to write in third grade, and you would just pull the encyclopedia off the shelf and work from that. Or was that just me?

To top it all off, and boy, is it topped, is the comments, which are split between "you know the Onion is fake, right?" and "wow, this can't be real!" And then there are the "this can't be real, and here's why."

* How much as he spent on gas to go to Best Buy and back over the last 3 weeks? Probably enough to buy the game!!!

* 2 things that make this story fake...1) How many displays have you seen with access to the memory card slot?2) How many stores have you seen with a full version game on display that is M-Rated? It is against policy. Its like showing an R rated movie on the TVs in Blockbuster.

* Yeah, add me to the "fake" tally: M-rated game with disembowelments, decapitations, and the f-bomb on public display at Best Buy equals someone getting fired.

* this is by far the most pathetic attempt at saving money I have ever heard. If he is a situation where he has to reort to this he should not be into playing next gen games.

This proves... well, that these people don't bother actually reading the article, or the other comments, but most of all, I'm going to have to agree with baby sea tuna on this one:

* These comments prove that at least 70% of the people that read Joystiq should never, ever breed.

For your consideration redux

One site taking the American Anime Awards seriously is Alternative Teen Services, offering up the following tips for unwitting librarians eager to turn today's teenagers into tomorrow's uncritical junk-media whores. Choice excerpts follow:

Here are some ideas for celebrating the American Anime awards:
* Make a news announcement about the American Anime Awards at your next teen meeting. Handout small slips of paper with the url for voting.
* Setup a few voting laptops at your next anime program and encourage teens to vote during the meeting.
...
* Tape the broadcast and watch it together at your next teen anime meeting.
* Post a link to the American Anime awards on your teen myspace or blog.

If you don’t have an anime group together, this could be your opportunity to speak with teens in the library about starting a group. Find out which teens like anime and manga, and tell them about the 1st Annual American Anime awards. Ask teens if they might be interested in meeting up to discuss manga and watch anime at the library.

ADV seriously owes these folks a box of manga for their efforts. Dare I say, award-nominated manga.

Also check out the entry on the Fayetteville Public Library's Teen Alternative Fashion Show. Alternative teen fashion, Naruto cosplay, whatever. Same thing.