Who will pee on House's chair now?

When one of your stars decides to leave your show—and acting in general—to go work at the White House, what exactly do you do with his character, a happy-go-lucky doctor who just got the job of a lifetime and seems to enjoy his work very much?

Why, you kill him off. Or more precisely, you have him commit suicide. Because you see, they'll never see it coming! Just like in real life!

And after you've said goodbye to the character in the most artistic and heartfelt manner possible, and posted the requisite public service message advising suicidal people to seek help, what do you do with the rest of your traumatized audience?

Send them to Facebook, of course, where they can write comments and watch the tribute video and add the widget. 

Widgets: the tribute that keeps on tributing, at least until people stop watching House or decide to make room on their profile for a list of their favorite beers.

Breaking new ground since... never

Another delightful female character description, courtesy of PvP:

Jade Fontaine
Certainly there is more to Jade than just a chick who’s into games, comics and the Lord of the Rings movies. But, hey… who cares really? She’s a hot chick who’s into geek culture. That’s all we, as men, really need to know. Right?

Well, that's pretty much all you really need to know about the mindset of the author, in any case. ("But wait! I was being ironic! Yeah, ironic...")

Anyway. Fellas, if you think the world really needs one more comic about the hee-lar-ious adventures of yet another slacker gamer fanboy who may or may not bear a surprising resemblance to you (in your mind), or you already have a comic about the amazing exploits of said generic white dude and the people who inexplicably put up with his wastage, I strongly suggest that you not embrace the mindset of the Parents' Basement. You have every right to give every impression that you and your kind are socially retarded man-children--adverse to ambition, exercise, and fresh salads, content to see women as breasticular fantasies instead of actual people--but I wouldn't really advise you do so. (If nothing else, it doesn't hurt to differentiate your work from the horde of guys out there peddling the exact same tired wares.) It may take effort and/or talent to rise above its mephitic depths, but the Basement is not your friend.

Also, it floods whenever it rains. So, there's that.

Dote up a cat, my X-Men

More manga X-Men character designs were released. They're--they're something. It's not that the actual drawings are terrible, they're pretty good, but.

Kitty Pryde: the name says it all! No, really. It does. No need for any further characterization: it's cats all the way. Lots of cats. Oh, she may be bishoujo now boys, but trust me: this can only end in the lingering smell of Meow Mix and lonely nights on a shredded, cat-pee-stained couch by the time she's 30.

Seriously, this is a path that just encourages more shit like this.

Nightcrawler: guy, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be out there saving Rosette or something?


And finally, Beast: I'm so sorry. I am so, so sorry. Someone needs to bundle your ass on the first Catbus out of Xavier's or whatever ASAP--Mei and Satsuki have got to be better than this.


You can check out the full versions of Anzu's character designs here.

There is nothing you possess that it cannot destroy

So The New Yorker had a contest in which readers were invited to submit art re-imagining cover boy Eustace Tilley, shown below in his original incarnation:



And wouldn't you know, someone came up with this. Which is funny and cool but also makes you want to die a little inside. (This, on the other hand, is a more guilt-free pleasure. Superflat, baby.)

Let'sjustputshitupandcallitadayist

Courtesy of today's edition of SFist:



Get it? Because, uh, people might have been yelling at Tatiana the tiger. Just like Sailor Moon villains Tiger Eye and Hawk Eye are yelling! At Sailor Venus. Because they want to date her...

Still, the dude's name is Tiger Eye. So technically it's probably more on point than, oh, I dunno...



Sure, we all hate Chibiusa, but isn't that a little harsh?

One of us! One of us! One of us!

What's better than the mouth-foaming drama of Your Webcomic is Bad and You Should Feel Bad? A blog devoted to harshing on Your Webcomic is Bad And You Should Feel Bad! Especially when the blog that's critical of the criticism blog is, in and of itself, bad. The first scathing shot across John Solomon's bow is "Your web comic review blog is bad and you should feel bad for using a blatant Futurama quote instead of coming up with something yourself which is rather ironic considering you constantly rip on web comics for doing the exact same thing except with other pop culture phenomenoms instead of Futurama", a sure sign that we're not exactly looking at the next MST3K contender.

Who should feel bad? Who knows. Welcome to the Internet.

Because it's not Scottish

Not sure if you're going to attend the New York Anime Festival? Then sister (or brother), let us tempt you with their dazzling guest list to date, including "prominent online artists" such as:

Juno Blair B, writer and illustrator of Star Cross'd Destiny! Star Cross'd Destiny is a webcomic--sorry, serialized graphic novel--about a teenager called, um, Juno. A "sad, traumatic" teenager, mind you. With powers over "weather and metaphysical darkness." (Can't you do something about your own emo then, lass?) And an '87 Shelby Daytona Pacifica which, I'm guessing, is not at all reminiscent of the author's own '89 Shelby Dodge Daytona.

Actually, there are a lot of teenagers in this; there's an embargo on main characters above the age of 20. Yes, the author is that type of borderline anime Sue. Logan's Run is all you can look forward to if anime fans rule the earth, I tell you. Still, keeping everyone in the same age bracket is a handy excuse to draw everyone the same; props to you if you can distinguish any of them from the thumbnails.

Supposedly this won an award. Supposedly.

Lindsey Henninger, "the most popular artist on anime art portal theOtaku.com". And you can clearly see why! Breast cancer: what anime girls have in common. Actually, they don't, because the teen demographic is not big on mastectomy storylines in their sexy robot catperson boylove power fantasies, but whatever. You get the idea. I mean, she meant well. The point is, she has what it takes to be a prominent online artist at a Reed Exhibitions event. Reed Exhibitions: "generating billions of dollars in business" in 34 countries worldwide, to bring you this. So please, take in what NYAF calls "her unique art and coloring style". Take it in and suck on it. Mmm, delicious.

Chris Hazelton, and I didn't get much farther than the front page for his webcomic Building 12 before I realized life was too short for such pain. My life, anyway, but not yours. As a fun aside, there are probably more aliens (2) than people of apparent African descent in it (0), because that's just the way shit goes down in this fandom. Be sure to check out his mad lettering skillz and a page from his apparently published work, A Steel Wing Shattered. The work is rated 16+ but it already evinces all the comic design sensibility of someone who's 11. Okay, maybe 12.

And that's rated 16+ as according to Chris's "publisher", Demented "We Can't Distinguish Between 'Its' and 'It's'" Dragon. Pay for a fucking editor, people. Just goddamn do it already. Also, it took me all of two seconds to pull this map up on Google--you see how there's that bit to the west that isn't New York City, much less a poorly filtered image of downtown (southern) Manhattan labeled "Western New York"? Ah, but my ire at self-styled publishers who have no interest in learning or applying the basics of editing and presentation--comics don't need asterisks to denote sound effects, by the way--it runs away with me. ("Rift the heaviest graveyard stone" indeed, what did Lafcadio Hearn ever do to deserve this?) I digress. (I bet I could put manga-style pictures to Atlanta Nights and they'd still publish it... yeses.) My favorite line from their website: "Originality in both story and art are always a plus!" And they have neither, so there you go. Dare you not to check out Yoko Molotov's Stray Crayons, which is "based in Yoko Molotov's hometown of Louisville KY, a beautiful, haunting city." Louisville: the Paris of the South. Or, knowing Demented Dragon, West.

Now, not to begrudge people the creative urge, and no doubt these artists will improve over time somehow, but the anime convention circuit sure does love to celebrate itself some low-level-mediocrity-verging-on-outright-crap. Certainly there are times when it's hard to get a person of the caliber you want, or even one who could pass as a journeyman professional. But is that really a reason to give feature status to any warm body with a Wacom tablet who presents at the door? Does that do the artist, the fan community, or the industry--or even an event's reputation--any favors?

I ain't sayin', I'm just sayin'.

It's no excitement

Dear Broccoli and Gainax:



You were right! Nothing says must-have mecha v. Angel fighting video game like Monotype Corsiva! It's the most powerful font ever.

For a wedding invitation.

Yes, due out in June and approximately 10 years too late to be cool, Neon Genesis Evangelion Battle Orchestra looks every bit the half-assed cash-in attempt.


We know how to keep objects from overlapping! Oh wait, we don't. That's Unit 00's arm sticking out the middle of Ramiel. Crap.

Still, it's probably worth a try for two reasons. One, a plugsuited Kensuke appears in the intro, so if he is a playable pilot, this is probably the only chance anyone will ever have to make Kensuke Aida do something of interest. Then again, this is a game where the black EVA unit is armed with the pinnacle of NERV Angel-fighting technology: nightsticks. So scratch that, Kensuke's toast. Two:



Ramiel and Leliel better be playable characters, that's all I'm saying. Nothing could sum up the undying Evangelion enterprise better than paying 7000 yen to smack a cube and a sphere into each other... to the death.

Otakudom is not dead

From the pages of the local discount pharmacy circular: