Which syrupy endsong from a CGI showcase flick can caterwaul its heroine's name with the most style?
In the right corner:
Kaena: The Prophecy. Heroine: Kaena. Notable cast members: Michael McShane and Greg Proops in a Whose Line double feature, Dwight Schultz, John DiMaggio.
In the left corner:
The Golden Compass. Heroine: Lyra. Notable cast members: Count Dooku, a lot of other people who should've known better.
A few handicaps to note:
Kaena has a plan. "Lyra" has no clue: where are our lives / if there is no dream? "Kaena" has the obvious answer: if you should fall in the deep / to call the dreams / the vision in your sleep. In retrospect, it is easy to figure out.
On the other hand, Lyra is less likely to trip in the dark. Even although the night is falling on "Kaena", the sun is in sight. This sounds pretty good until you realize "Lyra" has the numerical advantage: and the stars look down upon her / this darkness settles on her. Remember, a sun is just one star.
Kaena's soul is the great attractor. "Kaena": echoes of the past / are flying to your soul, which is a distraction she doesn't need in the middle of a title bout. "Lyra"? Her soul walks besides her. Moving target, forces the enemy to split their attention. A tactical advantage.
Fuggit, just bring a spade. "Kaena": the truth is in her head. "Lyra": the truth lies deep inside her. At least Kaena knows exactly where it is.
The Showdown:
"Kaena" vs. "Lyra". You be the judge!
Special last-minute contender added--"The Dream WIthin" from Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within. It hits all the right notes (stars, dreams, mysterious internal guidance, light, trust, love) but not once croons the name of Dr. Aki Ross, a critical failing.
My money's on "Kaena" because, let's face it, as bad as it is, it has more than one note. Several, in fact.
Damn, that Kate Bush song is really shitty.
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1 comment:
Well, the Keana song makes me laugh harder.
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