Stallion? Neigh!

Now that I am the proud (?) owner of a gift copy of Stallion, everyone's favorite wild west English-language yaoi, I can say not only is it definitely sucky, but it's also half a book short.

You'll only realize this if you purchase the book online since there's no mention of it on the book cover, but Stallion only takes up half of its volume--the rest of the space is taken up by two other shorts from Studio KÔSEN, plus the story Cancellation of Darkness. So not only is the story basically kinda crappy, it's not even the crap you thought you were paying for. Thanks, Yaoi Press!

Anyway, Stallion is the thinly-scripted story of a trio of forgettable anorexics with rigorous depilatory regimens, whose fates and loves intertwine under the hot desert sun or something to that effect. The titular (Savage) Stallion is a generic Native American from a nameless tribe that mostly consists of an old woman in a tipi. (In the middle of a barren wasteland devoid of plant life? Well, alright, I suppose.) His purpose in this narrative is to a) be token exotic eye candy, and b) take it up the ass from various white folks such as Josey the bounty hunter, unto whom Stallion gladly renders a blow job and a portion of his own soul. Watch out for soul syphilis!

Still, the creators attempt to give Stallion some dignity. Or not. Actually, they just compare him to an animal:

Since he has a name related to horses, we wanted to give Savage Stallion some slight features from them. His eyes are a bit bigger and darker than the other characters [sic] ones. His buttocks are a bit rounder...

That's as close as you're ever going to get to character notes in this thing, so get used to it.


Anyway, opposing Josey and his white man's burden is the wispy cowboy Bill (seen above), who shares the same tragic eating disorder as his foes and draws webcomics in his spare time. Despite being about as intimidating as a hipster working the Soho Apple store, cowboy Bill still manages to ride around the desert raping our heroes until Stallion fells him with a thrown dagger between the eyes. A dagger he keeps unsheathed and tucked in the back of his modesty thong:


Yes, that makes perfect sense.

See, I've never tried to ride horses and tackle bounty hunters in the old west, much less do so with a naked blade shoved down a G-string. It is entirely possible that the practice poses no potential hazards whatsoever to the integrity of my underwear and my fulsomely rounded, horse-like buttocks. So I guess I should cut KÔSEN some slack.

I'm also willing to cut linguistic slack to the Spanish KÔSEN, who seem like a fairly likeable pair of artists for all their authorial shortcomings. But Stallion was supposedly edited by Xaviera Pallars and Yamila "Female Parts That Make You Feel Icky" Abraham, neither of whom figured out that dialogue like "They said my tits were too big for the dress" doesn't ring true to the wild west. (For what it's worth, the OED traces the slang usage of "tits" to 1928.) None of this stopped Stallion from getting four stars on Amazon, for what it's worth (not a lot). But let's face it, if you're looking for plot, characterization, and writing, what the hell are you doing reading girls' manga porn in the first place?

On the other hand, if you're bored at work and you want to see how many people will start laughing after reading the back cover copy alone, then Stallion is well worth the purchase. I highly recommend it!

Special Bonus Feature!
The last page of Stallion is an ad for Zesty!, a free shounen-ai webcomic from Yaoi Press, featuring rave reviews from the likes of... PikachuGoddess and TwilightDNA?