One of these things is not like the other

Although Black History Month has ended, perhaps it should be extended for a few days to bring a much-needed ray of reality into the lives of juvie anime fans everywhere.

Sayeth the 4Kids fangirls of Save Our Voice Actors:

I found the absolute best quote for SOVA. I'm going to be putting this all over my banners!

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." -Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

....I'm making a shirt with this on it.

Yeah. Uh. Kids. You know what Dr. King was talking about? Because somehow I don't think it was--

Wow, that is a perfect quote for SOVA... We definitely need to use it!!

Seriously, I really don't think he was thinking on the level of cart--

I agree!! It's a very SOVA-y quote!! I love it!

Oh, fuck it. Yes, chilluns, the civil rights movement and the recasting of a cartoon have exactly the same moral, social, political, and historical weight. Uh-huh. You go with that.

But is SOVA the goofball-poppingest fan campaign yet to see the light of day? I'm betting "no way"--somewhere out there, the race to the bottom surely continues.

I laughed, I cried, I hit reset after the final boss wiped out my party

Via Kotaku link comes an arty Insert Credit article on why video games are not Art and most likely will never be, as well as a few kind words for intentionally punishing games:

They shine. Not for the enjoyment they provide, you see, but for the enjoyment they don't provide. They are the Art that games aren't. They are selfish objects, wringing a terrible revenge from a subculture that deserves to be punished. When you strip the fun away, you see Gaming for the bony white husk that it is . . . sad masses of cells tapping plastic in the dark, wondering where all the loneliness and depression are coming from.

Back at Kotaku, one can already hear some shrill squeals of "Gaming has no Citizen Kane? What about Mario? What about Metal Gear Solid, fer chrissakes! Games touch me in a way movies never have!"

Feel free to raise your own opinion on this one; this coordination-challenged sad mass of cells is at least grateful it doesn't have to shoot down a squad of mooks and an attack helicopter on a rooftop just to find out how Citizen Kane ends. There is a great deal of unfinished and unfinishable "Art" sitting around the house...

Chrono Crusade Vol. 8

There's really not much you can do to ruin gun-toting nuns in 1920s America; that is what is known in the industry as Pure Entertainment Gold. Okay, you could take all those possibilities and flush them down the toilet in favor of your standard emo apocalypse saga with predictable religious overtones, but - oh yes, the concluding volume of the Chrono Crusade manga.

First things first: Chrono Crusade Vol. 8 is as beautifully drawn as always. The characters don't break any new ground but Rosette, although a generic spunky heroine, is at least a generic spunky heroine who kicks people in the head and bought up her Both Guns Blazing schtick, and Father RemingtonAwesome is Father Awesome, so they're all perfectly pleasant to watch. Of course, this being the final volume, all there is to watch is expertly-rendered scenes of battle damage and heart-rending emotion you've seen a hundred times before.

The plot is entirely optional at this point: people cry and shout a lot about their issues before kicking each other in the head, there's the obligatory scene where the Main Character is KOed during a crucial battle and must mope through a metaphysical experience (on a train, no less) before returning to consciousness to whup villain ass, childhood promises are remembered and new promises made (and cried and shouted over), naked women of significance are awakened and then decapitated, disaster is threatened and averted, and climactic battle scenes suddenly cut to black. Can we get a spaceship that crashes onto a planet and causes wacky shit to be set in motion, too? Yes, we can. Cue epilogue!

The epilogue is standard sentimental fare, but it's a decent enough send-off for all the heroes you mostly tolerated or kinda liked for the past 7 volumes. And that's about it, really. Still, it's a really well-drawn series and Father Awesome has a big-ass cross sword, so the early volumes are at least worth a read. Meanwhile, Daisuke Moriyama's moved on to World Embryo.

On the technical side, ADV's translation is competent enough. But design-wise, there are just some situations in which a Helvetica-style font simply looks crappy on the page. Which is too bad, because people at ADV Manga apparently loves them some cheap-looking sans serif action.

Sparkles, people, sparkles

If the subject is cool girl-girl love, then why is your book design so purposely amateurish and unappealing?

Maybe yuri fans have a zest for shades of dull off-mauve. Is this something I should be aware of?

Taking the concept of fan wank to a new and disturbingly literal level

Pokemon fansite Serebii makes Something Awful's Weekend Web feature this week. Should we even be shocked that there's a Pokephilia Club thread out there? Because somehow it's hard to muster the surprise anymore.

Besides, it's not exactly hard to find Pokemon fans who are a step removed from reality. Something Awful could just have easily plumbed the depths of the Save Our Voice Actors club, headquartered on Bulbagarden and a one-time blip on last year's fandom wank radar. This kid's crew is still fixated on Pokemon characters and the voice actors from 4Kids, Pokemon's former dubbers; they're convinced they will get that semi-original cast back any day now despite everyone else having moved on with their lives - except 4Kids VA Maddie Blaustein, who apparently still hangs around to post about her hurt feelings.

Though I adored anime characters when I was a wee lass (having outgrown ponies, dragons, and death-dealing robots but not yet moved onto real human beings), I could never compare to typical SOVA specimen PokemonTrainerLisa, who thinks that fanmailing former Pokemon voice actor Veronica Taylor means they have a promising relationship:

Speaking of getting the VAs on SOVAcast, well, since Veronica and I are pretty close, I could send her an email, asking if she'd like to come on the SOVAcast. And she would most likely reply back to me as soon as she reads her email (she's replied to MANY of my messages before, and we seem to be good friends now).

However, I'm getting worried, because Veronica hasn't replied to any of my messages in a long while. It's odd because, usually, she would reply to every message I send her (it would normally take her anywhere from a few days, to 1 or 2 weeks to reply back, depending on how busy she is and everything).

But as for the reason why she hasn't replied to me lately, I'm not sure if it's because she's been very busy with all her VA work or if it's something else. But anyway, I haven't heard from her in a good while, and it's starting to worry me.

The SOVA mystery club is so out of touch with reality in general that they're phoning up Pokemon's latest hire, former 4Kids exec Caryl Liebmann, for help. See, if she used to work at 4Kids, then the only possible reason Pokemon hired her was to work on the TV show. Because that is so totally what Director of Retail Promotions means.

Shiny Happy People Holding Hands

In a completely, unmistakably neutral piece titled "Japan resorts to manga propaganda", the AP and CNN discover the Japanese penchant for putting cute mascots on everything. Including the Self Defense Force.

"Prince Pickles is our image character because he's very endearing, which is what Japan's military stands for," said Defense Agency official Shotaro Yanagi. "He's our mascot and appears in our pamphlets and stationery."



Yes, endearing he is, indeed! Which raises a good question: why didn't anyone think of this earlier? It's nothing short of pure brilliance. Any military force could potentially be a highly-trained, devasting force... for cute! To help you visualize, we quickly drew up the following examples:



Is there any limit to the power of cartoon mascots?

Public Relations: A Lost Art

Here's one by way of Gothamist: NYU Asian Heritage Club protests appearance by non-Asian Heritaged band Ching Chong Song, which then renames itself the Church of Lurch. As noted, a Ching Chong Song appearance was previously nixed at Bryn Mawr, prompting band member Julia LaMendola to (presumably) get Gibson drunk and write a poorly-thought out rant to the school paper which was promptly published, as the editor rightly smelled dynamite:

Growing up a child of a gay parent in a tiny town, a poor second-generation Italian girl, I also have experience with the nuances of language. And give me a break you stupid twats.
...
I am mad that I was asked to back out, just another way the small-scale mirrors the large-scale of “shut-your-mouth-you’re-scaring-me” tactics are infiltrating our f’d up sweet spunky youth. By the way, “ching chang chong” is what people in Germany call the game rock paper scissors, and stupid petty retards is what I’m calling you.

That'll totally get Bryn Mawr's sympathy. In any case, the notion that membership in Category X and/or experience of Y automatically immunizes anyone from the charge of offensive or insensitive behavior is not a recognized defense in this jurisdiction. Nor was the band named after any type of German Roshambo. We decline further review of the appellant's argument. Appellant continues:

Let our band be what it is: a gay and omni-sexual duo that writes song about life and it’s crusts and death, and most of all love and open-eyed Acceptance. You stupid petty retard girl school twats!

Ching Chong "commited to Bodhichitta by getting pissy and calling names" Song/Church of Lurch speaks for itself not only with keen tact and language-nuanced oratorical skills, but with the inevitable MySpace page. With songs! File under Instrument-Aided Hipster Masturbation, Self-Conscious Tunes for Coffeehouse Poetry Night Intermission, and Not Good Enough to Get a Free Pass on Willful Public Stupidity.

Rooty tooty fresh and fruity

For whatever reason, it's vaguely fashionable these days to name your yaoi/yuri imprint after a fruit. Witness Seven Seas' Strawberry line and the upcoming as-yet unofficially named but definitely ovarian yaoi imprint from Broccoli.

Can't wait to start my own yaoi/yuri imprint, which I intend to name Durian. Sure, some people will think it stinks and refuse to touch it. But that's before you force it open and take a taste of the total creaminess inside.

I hear Frylock is looking for someone to rent the spare room

Via Variety: after 13 years at the company, Cartoon Network executive Jim Samples resigns over Mooninite incident.

Coincidentally, or perhaps not, the front page of the Boston Globe's boston.com sent Samples gently into the good night like so:


Because they love, Samples. Because they... "love."

You like me! You really, really like me... in Akira

This via AnimeCons.com, since the American Anime Awards are averse to punctual site updates - the five finalists in each of the AAA's award categories have been announced. Sorry, Del Rey! Tsubasa and Negima didn't make the cut, no hard feelings about that whole leaving you off the ballot for a while thing.

And yes, Johnny Yong Bosch is still in the running for Best Actor in a Comedy. For Akira. Never was I prouder to know my vote was not in vain, although NA tragically failed to garner a top five finish in any of its two (in)eligible categories.

According to the release, the Babes of Anime presenters will be wearing fashion from ADV's fellow Texan, Chloe Dao, who'll present the award for Best Package Design. What other synergistic wonders hath appearance fees wrought? We can only wait and see.

Dao's Lot 8 boutique provided some of the clothes for last year's Babes of ADV photoshoot, which brings us to the question: what makes a Babe of ADV--er, Anime--a Babe, fit to join a group of "the most prominent voice actors in the business"? Does it take more than auditioning for the cover of a European gothic metal album?

Well, apparently it takes an anime dubbing resume you could tally on one hand - as long as two fingers are set aside for your roles as an extra and, uh, another extra. If you know any other anime voice-over credits to help the case of Most Prominent Fulks, let us know! Perhaps she's even the same Fulks who directed The Most Massive Woman Wins to encourage people "to examine themselves as a community and to raise questions about how body image shapes the way we view and value ourselves."